Total Behavior- Who's driving my car?

Today we taught Total Behavior to the students. It was interesting to say the least. Students still have problems with the idea that they can control their actions. We began with an activity of the running. We had four students come to the front. One was doing the action of running, a second was portraying what the person would be thinking. A third modeled the physical response and the fourth represented the persons feelings.

The action is running, what is the person thinking while running? The person may be thinking, "go faster, keep going, look at this beautiful day etc." The physical response might be sweating, heart rate up, sore muscles. And the feeling component could have been, exhilaration, joy, fear, misery.


We gave the students the analogy to the car above. We explained that the front wheels are driving and directing the car and the physical and feelings are the back wheels. They follow along. All four components are present at the same time. If we change any of the components, the other three change as well.

Some students had a difficult time with the emotional or feeling component as a back wheel. Some students don't think that they can control anger. Or that they can choose not to be angry or choose not to be depressed.

We made it very clear that all feeling are acceptable. It is okay to be angry. It is NOT okay to punch someone because you are angry. It also doesn't make sense to obsess and let it ruin your day (or everyone else's day for that matter).

I admit that this was very difficult for me to accept in the beginning, but once I got a hold of the concept, it changed my life. I am thrilled with the idea that I can control my behavior and that I don't have to be a victim to my emotions! This is life changing! And for someone who has a high need for power, I feel empowered and free. It is exhilarating!

We also talked about students getting so angry that it ruined the rest of their day. If they came in and said, " Fred made me so mad!" We changed that to CT language. "I got angry because......." And we told them they might hear us reminding them that they had a choice in their behavior. We might ask them "Who is driving your car?" "So you gave your keys to Fred to drive your car?"

I know that this is such a new concept for students. It certainly was new to me. It took me most of the summer to change my thinking. I know this will take a lot of time to teach students, but I really believe that empowering them will truly change their lives!